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Vaginas should really come with instruction manuals. Warning labels. Affirmations, meditations, every damn thing.

Vaginas can be freaky. And mysterious. They play by their own rules.

This tells her that you are done. If this is your first time with your girl you should do this cuz. Example of Eat Out: Girl #1: Yesterday was the best night of my life!. What you may not realize is that you have no idea where his mouth has been. There are lots of germs involved so make sure all parties are. But I don't want to say that because 1. It doesn't sound like me, and 2. That's not what I want. I just want you to eat me out, and I want you to do it.

Depending on how tall you are, your vagina is like, miles away from your face. How are we supposed to know?

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They get up in there like a gynecologist and eat the neuroticism right out of you. Thing is, if you have this hungry hungry hippo in front of you begging for a snack, you need to get out of your own way and let them feed.

The Logic: All vaginas smell like. The Fear: Like, kinda-fishy, walking around in a thong and tights all day, bad.

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Go wash up really quick? Again, an adult will understand — and appreciate — if you need to freshen up before they get to feast.

I know we walk around thinking that our pubes are the only pubes, and that our shaving routine is the only shaving or waxing, or whatever routine, but give your dude some credit.

No shame in your game, girl.

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Unless you like a little pain, in which case hay gurl hay. Then tell him what would actually feel good.

Guys have their own hang-ups about going downtown, so rather than accepting your fate, communicate about it and find out what the problem is. Bon appetit!

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